I love this video - it speaks to the deepest recesses of my nerd soul! And it also further proves that nerd culture is very popular these days - so be confident in your geekdom!

For those of you reading this blog, which parts of this video can you identify with? I recognize myself in the following parts of the video:

• I’m good at academics.
• I have a few action figures - just bought one today, in fact!
• Wore braces for a few years.
• Used to be the chairman of my ping pong club!
• I’m good at trivia games.
• And of course, I own a website. (Several, in fact).

Which of Weird Al’s geek stereotypes in his video spoke directly to you?

In this entry, I’ll focus on drawing eyes, since eyes are among the most popular things for people to draw - and also, if you draw great eyes, people will sit up and take notice!

Here are three how-to-draw videos that should help you in your quest to draw beautiful eyes.

In this video, Mark Crilley, author of the Miki Falls manga, demonstrates how to draw manga-style eyes 4 different ways. Of these, I think his own style (the very last set of eyes), is the best - still, all the drawings should give you pointers that you can adapt to your own style, so I think this is a very useful video to watch.

Drawing in a more realistic style than Mark Crilley, “sycra” demonstrates how starting with rough lines and shapes, you can come up with some very compelling looking eyes.

Stephanie Valentin does an even more realistic eye in her how-to-draw video, complete with narration text. Bonus points for Django Reinhardt music! (By the way, she’s also an accomplished musician - check out her other videos if you’re interested in the electric violin.)

When I first saw this picture, I laughed out loud, because the “Special Deal” doesn’t offer any additional value! This is what I normally think of when I hear the word “value” - being able to do something that brings an advantage to myself or to other people. In this case, value means saving some money.

People don’t normally think of the word “value” when they think about confidence, but the concept of value has a place in boosting confidence, too!

For example, do you consider yourself to be someone who has high value? That is, if you met someone who was exactly like yourself, would you respect and admire that person for his or her abilities or personality? If you were a product, would you buy yourself?

It’s important, in your quest to achieve self-confidence, to find things about yourself that you would admire or respect. You might even want to take some time to list out the things about yourself that you admire. If you consider yourself to be high-value, people will pick up on that. And people are naturally attracted to people who they consider to be high-value.

Also,  do you give value to others? Being valuable to others is another way of boosting your confidence, because it’s a confirmation that people value your abilities and personality. Be sure to develop traits that will offer value to other people - but never base your confidence solely on what other people think of you! There’s a subtle difference there, but it’s important that your confidence is based on how you feel about yourself first, and how other people feel about you later.

Think about all these things. Just be wary of arrogance - don’t be like that “3 FOR THE PRICE OF 3″ deal, where you overvalue yourself. Be aware of your faults, and be proud of your strengths. That should help you in navigating between confidence and arrogance.

Welcome to 2009, everyone! As we ring in the new year, how are you thinking of improving yourself for the coming year? Are you thinking of becoming a more confident, dynamic person? What resolutions are you thinking of this year?

For me, this year will bring a lot of content to both this site and its sister humor site, phailpail.com. I intend to write about many aspects of self-confidence and provide confidence boosting tips that will help you in your quest to become the person you’ve always wanted to be. Content planned for this year include in-depth guides into learning skills and hobbies as a way of boosting self-esteem, highlighting confident figures in the real world and in imagined worlds - and heck, maybe a little bit of controversy thrown in here and there

Related to that, I should announce right now that the update schedule to this site will be slowed down to about once or twice a week, because school is starting again. However, there is much for me to share here, rest assured that I’m not going anywhere!

Please share your plans for 2009 here!

Have you ever seen anyone walk with their eyes cast downward, their shoulders slumped - as though they’re carrying all the burdens of the world? If you walked like that, how do you think people would look at you?

The way you walk sends a message to the people walking around you. If you walk like a sad, defeated person, that’s precisely how people are going to perceive you. If you walk like a winner, then people are going to perceive you as someone who knows where they’re going - a confident, dynamic person. (And if you walk like John Cleese in that picture, you’re more than likely going to be seen as a silly person. Except if you’re John Cleese, of course!)

Here are some tips for walking like a winner:

• Imagine there’s a wire connecting your chest to the sky, pulling you up like a puppet: In other words, walk erect with your back straight, and your chest out.
• Lead slightly with your hips, not with your shoulders: If you lean too much forward (your shoulders leading more forward than your hips), you’re going to look like you’re slouching. Instead, imagine your hips moving you forward. Don’t do it so much that you look like you’re hip-thrusting your way to your destination, though!
• Be slightly relaxed as you walk.: Note how tense or relaxed you are when you walk. If you’re too tense, people will detect it. Don’t flop around like a jellyfish either.
• Walk purposefully, instead of hurriedly: Note that I didn’t say “walk quickly” - you can walk purposefully even if you’re walking at a normal pace. Walk like you have a sense of purpose and that you’re going somewhere, instead of wandering around aimlessly - but don’t fix your gaze ahead like a search beam. Look around, catch the eyes of people around you, smile or nod slightly. Of course, if you walk quickly, you can still look confident, but walking too fast with a frown on your face just makes you look stressed.

• Swing your arms naturally:This one’s hard to explain in words, but basically, you want your arms to swing as though you’re not really thinking about them. Don’t lock your elbows and keep your arms by your side like a nutcracker. Don’t also swing wildly like you want to knock someone out. Chances are, you’re already doing this correctly, so just be mindful of extremes.
• Don’t look at the floor!: Looking down while walking may create the impression of dejectedness and also cause you to walk into walls. Look up, and around - there’s a wonderful world around you!

• Emulate somebody else’s confident walk: Find someone who you think walks confidently and learn from him or her.

Try walking confidently until it feels natural to you. Have fun!

It’s generally accepted that good eye contact is a great way of making a first impression work very well for you. This has even been shown scientifically - researchers at Aberdeen University conducted a study showing that people were generally rated as more attractive if they were looking straight at an observer and smiling (New Scientist article).

Your goal is to make the person you’re talking with feel that he or she is comfortable and engaged with you. Look him or her straight in the eye, glancing away once in a while. Smile and nod to show that you’re paying attention.

With that in mind, here are some tips that should make it easier for you to have good eye contact with someone you’re conversing with:

• If you’re shy about looking someone in the eye, look in between their eyes. If you look at somewhere around the bridge of their nose, you should still give the impression that you’re looking right at them.

   

• Don’t STARE. If you’re just giving them a fixed gaze without ever breaking it, it’s creepy. Break your gaze every once in a while by glancing quickly up, or to the side, or by looking at the face somewhere aside from the eyes.

   

• Relax, and focus on what the person is saying.Good eye contact is a way of showing a person that you’re paying attention, but do make sure that you’re actually paying attention. By doing not focusing so much on how good your eye contact is, you’ll relax - and ironically, your eye contact will become more natural!

   

Maintain good eye-contact, smile, and you’ll find that people will warm up to you much more easily.

One of the highlights of anime conventions for me are the cosplayers. A particularly notorious cosplayer is Man-Faye:

Faye is a female character from the excellent anime Cowboy Bebop who used to be quite the fanboy favorite back in the day - and this cosplayer has decided to cosplay her, male gender, hairy legs and protruding gut be damned. Man-Faye even makes sexy poses accentuating his butt in some of his pictures.

And you know what? More power to him!

Because, folks - this is one confident dude. This is a man who, in the face of derision from fellow anime fans and despite his less-than-perfect body shape, has decided to go out and have fun. And because of that, Man-Faye has become a minor celebrity among con-goers, to the point that he even has his own website: man-faye.com

I think Man-Faye is a great example of how to be a confident, fun-loving geek - he’s not scared of what other people think of him, and he just wants to have fun. Good job, Man-Faye!

Oh, and by the way, if you haven’t seen Cowboy Bebop.. you NEED to watch it. One of the best action animes ever, IMO, with a soundtrack for the ages.

Buy the Cowboy Bebop Remix: Anime Legends DVDs at Amazon.com

One of my beliefs is that learning a new skill is a great way to boost your confidence. Not only does it increase your self-esteem by showing you that you’re capable of drawing something great, it also allows you to make more friends in the artist community.

I know this from experience, since I used to draw manga-style art. This allowed me to join communities, both offline and online, that had plenty of people who drew in a style similar to mine. I was able to make new friends, and also, this was how I met my girlfriend - we first connected over manga and art.

Now, if you’re a complete beginner, there’re a couple of things that you should keep in mind:

• Practice is key: If you want to get good at drawing, you absolutely have to practice drawing. Do it for a few hours every week. Find artists you admire, and try to emulate them.

   

• Get the fundamentals correct at the start: Although getting technical details such as perspective and anatomical proportion isn’t the sexiest part of drawing, if you get it right from the start,you don’t have to correct mistakes in your drawing style later on.

   

• Learn from a variety of artists and sources: To develop your own style, don’t just emulate one artist! Take the good things from many different artists, learn from many different sources, and you’ll find your art developing more quickly.

   

• Join an art community: Joining an art community will connect you to different artists. This will expose you to different styles and ideas, as well as give you motivation to keep drawing.

   

Now, drawing tutorials is a huge topic by itself, which I plan to address in a future post. However, here are some online art galleries where you can upload and display your art for free, and also check out what other artists are drawing.

• Deviantart: One of the most famous online art galleries. Great for getting exposure for your art.

   

• Elfwood Fantasy and Science-Fiction Art Galleries: This was the first art site I ever joined, and while it’s not as lively as Deviantart is, it’s still a great way to meet people who are interested in fantasy art. Be aware, however, that they have very strict rules for what’s acceptable in their galleries (must be fantasy/sci-fi), and that all incoming artwork in checked by human moderators.

   

Future posts will go into drawing for confidence in more detail. In the meantime, have fun drawing, and have a Merry Christmas!

Dictionary.com, which takes its definitions from the 2006 Random House Unabridged Dictionary, defines confidence as:

• (the) belief in oneself and one’s powers or abilities; self-confidence; self-reliance; assurance:

It seems like a fairly terse definition, but there’s enough in there to give us some food for thought. For example, we see here that the definition begins right off the bat with “belief in oneself”. Believing in yourself can encompass many things - for example, you can believe in your own strengths, you can believe in your ability to get through a situation.. and equally important, you can believe that you are the kind of person who has the ability to be happy and fulfilled in your life and your relationships.

The phrase “one’s powers and abilities” should be highlighted, too - no matter how you feel about yourself, I’m willing to bet that there’s some ability or skill of yours that you’re at least somewhat proud of. List your abilities, develop them, and find new abilities to learn. As you convince yourself that you’re a skilled person by gaining new skills or improving existing ones, your confidence will grow.

Also, pay attention to the word “self-reliance” in that definition. You may interpret that as meaning a confident person isn’t dependent on other people in managing their lives - but just as importantly, a confident person isn’t reliant on someone else to validate them.

In short:

• Believe in yourself.
• Grow your skills and abilities.
• Be self-reliant.

Of course, this is a VERY limited list - there’s much more to self-confidence than just these! The point is for you to define self-confidence for yourself, with this as an example. List out what you want to see in a new, more confident you, and make that your personal definition of self-confidence!

He invites the members of his online forum to participate in his virtual dinner, and even makes special animated Santa smileys for them - only to find no one for him, even online. Dejected, the geek resigns himself to a lonely Christmas, but when he hears a knock on his door and opens it, he is surprised by two warm and friendly people, who give him a hug and spend Christmas with him playing board games. The last shot in this film is the geek looking happy that he won’t have to spend Christmas alone.

Of course, this is a fictional video - and furthermore, this video and its companion site, Befriend A Geek.com, seem to be part of a viral marketing campaign for two web design companies.

However, what’s interesting in this video is how the geek is portrayed - as a lonely, disheveled soul with no hope of finding companionship even online. The premise of the video, tongue-in-cheek as it is, is that geeks need help with social interactions even during Christmas time. That’s pretty much in line with the classic geeky shut-in stereotype.

I don’t think the stereotype is true, personally. Most geeks I know do have friends and family around them to be with during the holidays. However, there probably are some individuals who are alone during the holidays, and do not like it, and my wish for them during this holiday season is that they, too, are someday blessed with the gift of companionship.

What do you think of this video? Is this true of your own experience, or of someone you know? Is this just a nasty stereotype? Where do you like to be during Christmas, or during any other festive event?